There are so many negative things I am coming to terms to, but in this first part I want to give some hope to those who are new like me to sobriety and the recovery. I'm no expert, Im 3 weeks in myself and everyones mental health and energy is different.
1. I stopped drinking, I saw the consequences of this and it sucked to be fair, everything about it was shit.
2. I started my antidepressants again, this time for good. I stopped them because I convinced myself I was OK 8 months ago, but I wasn't, I was in denial and I convinced myself I didn't need them. I do and so does everyone who is an alcoholic at this stage. There is no shame in taking them, I avoided these for so long and if I had taken them sooner, maybe I could have stopped drinking and not caused as much damage to my life. I'm an idiot, just try them, ask your GP, call someone, speak to freinds and family, you'll be surprised how many people feel like you and don't want to admit they are week and need them, you aren't, get out of your head and on the phone!!
3. Got counciling, I've had good and bad sessions so far, it's always worth a shot, there are services that offer a pay what you can deal and also the NHS offer guidance too towards help.
4 I went for my first run in 3 year today! It felt good, I don't know why I stopped... Oh wait I was too drunk the next day!
5. I attended AA, I will go into more detail with this soon. I was surprised as I was always against this for being too culty and heard stories of it being too goddy, but it isn't, you make of it what you can, it's your journey. But detaching yourself from this actually helps, knowing there are people in the same situation as you and sharing their own stories and life has resinated so much in my alcoholism I have managed to relate. It's definitely worth trying a few different meeting too as they are all different.
6. Swapping numbers with other members and meeting people that I might actually be freinds for life with! Or until they relapse of their liver fails or they die of some other awful thing related to our wonderful existence!
7. Have decided to put myself first, I spent so much of my life thinking of others and putting them first or being over considerate. I have now put myself at the heart of my life and I need to recover to help myself and then if I can continue to help others!
I'm sure there are more little tweaks I have made like diet and sleep, but I will add that as we go. I think self care and self preservation is key at this stage though.
Stay sober Dan x
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