The start of recovery

3 weeks and 1 day ago I begin what I hope to be a life changing decision and when I say hope, well it has to be, it's the good adverge of do or die, literally, there's nothing for me left any more. I hit rock bottom and some how I continued to fall deeper and deeper.

I woke on that Sunday morning at 4am, I had a dream about how bad my alcoholism is and I woke up crying, I cried in my dream, but I was actually doing it in real life. I that moment I decided to go onto Google and search to find out if there is a local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting near me, and low and behold there was one that evening. The week before the person who I thought the rest of my life would have been spent with did the right thing and ended our relationship due to my drinking and the mental effects it had on me and our relationship. My relationship with my children had been damaged and my finances are awful and I have technical been homeless since November 2022, my alcoholism is appalling and a string of other things, with courts, ccjs and just general bad managent of my life.

I could never understand why or how this has happened to me, I was confused as to how this once loving family man, who ran a business and was doing fairly OK in life had become this sorry state of existence. The only think that had change, was that I had started slipping back into my old ways of excessive drinking and not being responsible for the consequences I had caused. I didn't want to be like this, I wasn't, day to day I was caring, a completely different human being, but when I drank, I would have to spend the next few days apologising for my behaviour. 

I want to share my journey with you all, I want to be raw and honest about my life before and my progress. I have decided enough is enough and I can't hide or avoid my issues any more and I want to make amens for the damage to those around me. I hope you find it interesting, but most of all I want to give back and hopefully make a difference in someone else's life. 

I'll be adding bits about my previous life, the last 3 weeks journey and what I hope for the future. Plus all the notes and things I make day to day. I do hope some of you can relate to me on this and either get the help you need or have it help with your continued sobriety!!

Kind Regards Daniel